On Survival

“What a gift you haven’t quit.”
-Dr. Thema, Homecoming podcast

i’m forgetting these days that just surviving is enough. Just making it through this pandemic is enough to ask of myself. I do not have to be extraordinary. I do not have to survive AND also overachieve. I don’t have to make it out of this time with a million dollars in my bank account, a fit body, a new business venture, three jobs, a manuscript of poetry, and a dog. I can just… make it through with my physical and mental health intact, and that is what I am aiming for. Just. Surviving. Is. Good. Enough. Dassit.

I know it’s tempting to try to do everything, but remember: these days are not full of dead time. You aren’t doing “nothing” around the house all day. You are actively engaged in the project of ensuring your own survival. There usually isn’t this much friction or difficulty in doing so, so you don’t feel it as much and life tasks can run as background tasks in your life. But now, it takes more energy to care for yourself and run your life with some semblance of regularity and consistency, so it is 100% okay to not have the energy to survive and. You can just survive. That’s cool too. You’re going to forget things (I forgot to go to book club tonight) and fail at things and need time to rest, and all of that is more than okay.