On Possibility
Every year, I choose a one-word theme for my year. It then becomes a joy throughout the year to find the word I’ve chosen appear in my life. Around the end of 2020, I felt the word “possibility” arising for 2021… and I resisted, hard. In these uncertain times, who wants to deal with the murkiness of possibility? In a different year, sure, maybe “possibility” could feel full of wonder, openness, and hope. In this current moment of the coronavirus pandemic (that is still raging in America), “possibility” started to feel like a cop-out.
In the movie The Pursuit of Happyness, Will Smith and his son Jaden are having a conversation while playing basketball. Little Jaden wants to know whether he and his dad are going to go the game later that day, and Will responds “Possibly.” In response to the look on his son’s face, Will asks “Do you know what possibly means?” Jaden throws the ball down and says, “I know what it means! It means we’re NOT going to the game!”
Whew child. I can relate.
That’s kind of how this year feels to me so far. It feels very easy to focus on the seeming impossibilities this year could contain: the still-necessary limitations on travel, leisure activities, and access to culture. (Soapbox: that last one doesn’t have to be off-limits, but this is America. We can wear masks and go to the mall to shop, but we can’t put on masks and go to art galleries? Libraries? #SureJan). How could a year so full of limitations be simultaneously full of possibility?
Our current circumstances highlight what, in smaller doses, makes possibility beautiful. While challenging, mystery allures. Will I get the chance to go out dancing? Will I take the solo trip to Portugal that I’ve always wanted? The chances aren’t looking great in the immediate moment due to the pandemic, but we will not always be in this immediate moment. The limitations of the current moment do not have to hinder my dreaming. I can still construct plans for the future. To paraphrase Alice Walker, in our dreams, we can imagine ourselves free.
The last quarter of 2020, I was consumed with the question, “What else might be possible?” One of the beautiful things about life is that no matter the current circumstances, alternatives are always available to us. During this season, I am challenged by the opportunities to create more joyous moments for myself. How might more joy be possible in my life? It takes creativity to add moments of extravagance, and yet each action helps me manage my own survival in this moment. The word “possibility” in the context of this year reminds me that there are always different choices available to me, even if they are not the choices I want. My efforts to bring novelty to my life have shifted to listening to new music albums, trying a different method of exercising, or playing with an art form that I do not expect myself to excel at (hello charcoal drawing, I’m looking at you). Even writ small, the possibilities for this year abound.
I hope that this year safely brings back some of the possibilities that have been circumscribed as a result of the pandemic. I miss the choices that used to be available to me, even as I am grateful for the ways my creativity has expanded my definition of what a full life can look like right now. For now, I’m excited about the possibilities 2021 may have in store.