2019 Affirmations
It’s almost a new year, which means it’s almost time for a new set of affirmations! Here are the 6 I’ve been meditating on for the upcoming year ahead.
1. I am loved for who I am, not what I do.
So often, I feel like my worth comes from what I can do for other people. As someone who has the gift of connecting with people, I fear being seen by others as simply a means to an end. When I was an entrepreneur, one of my least favorite aspects was feeling like when I was networking that people only wanted to get to know me because of some perceived utility on my part. I was nothing more than a tool to be utilized, especially because I built a service-based business, where I sometimes felt like I was the product. This affirmation is to remind me that I am intrinsically worthy, no matter what I do or don’t do. That’s not where my worth comes from.
2. I am not beholden. I choose to be here.
I am blessed to have many commitments that are deeply meaningful to me on my calendar. However, on the flip side, I sometimes catch myself saying things like, “Ugh, another meeting” or “Do I really have to be here right now?” The simple answer is: no. I don’t HAVE to be anywhere (and because my job is remote, this goes for my employment as well. Yes, I have obligations that I will continue to meet, but I want to remind myself in those moments that if I am present here, I choose to be here. I am not beholden against my will, and if that’s how I feel about the commitment, I want that to inspire me to reevaluate placing my time there in the first place.
3. I give myself the permission I seek.
This one is a tough one for a girl who is used to getting gold stars on her homework. While I don’t miss many aspects of childhood, it is difficult to be an adult and have to give oneself the stamp of approval instead of locating it elsewhere. Just because no one gave me permission to do it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be doing it. My life doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and even if it did, no one else would be responsible for reading it and/or following it but me, now would they? As someone who frequently fights perfectionist tendencies and procrastinates by researching endlessly (#analysisparalysis), I’m interested in seeing what happens when I remind myself that I can and do grant myself the permission that I wish someone else would give me.
4. I move from a place of abundance.
While I am super grateful for my innate hustler mentality, sometimes it reinforces a scarcity mentality. This can be super useful when I need to be scrappy with resources (let’s just say ya girl knows how to stretch a dollar, okay?!), but I want to cultivate a mindset of abundance. There is enough. I am enough, and I want to revel in the spaces of abundance in my life, not dwell on the places of not-enoughness.
5. It is okay to say no.
I. Need. This. Reminder. Daily.
Nayyirah Waheed has a beautiful poem that simply says this:
‘no.’
might make them angry.
but
it will make you free.-if no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger
Others’ happiness isn’t my responsibility. I am genuinely working on my comfort in telling others no, especially friends and family, because I generally don’t like to disappoint people. However, it is okay to say no to protect myself: my giving nature, my heart, my home, my peace, or even just because I don’t feel like saying yes. I don’t owe anyone an explanation, and while I hope to navigate these no’s with kindness, I also know that sometimes I need to say no to others so that I can say yes to myself.
6. I trust myself to make good decisions.
How many decisions have I tried to make by consensus? I have wasted more time than I care to think about explaining to people in my circle why I feel like making a certain decision is right (or why I’ve decided against it). I hope this affirmation reminds me that while seeking wisdom can be helpful, I don’t want to do so out of fear that I will make the “wrong” decision otherwise. I don’t want to reinforce the habit of looking to others to know my own mind, because my mind is mine to know. I trust others when they have shown themselves capable of making good choices; I choose to extend that same trust to myself.
7. I am allowed to change.
Change is messy, y’all. It will mean doing things differently than I have done in the past, and I am okay with that. I used to think that my definition of success was finding a perfectly replicable life routine and never deviating from it, but that’s unrealistic and also, impossible. I want to remind myself that I encourage myself to change. That’s what pursuing growth constantly looks like for me. So I give myself permission to walk into new seasons, experiences, challenges, and live through them. I will not come out the other side the same.
Here they are again one more time, all together:
I am loved for who I am, not what I do.
I am not beholden. I choose to be here.
I give myself the permission I seek.
I move from a place of abundance.
It is okay to say no.
I trust myself to make good decisions.
I am allowed to change.